


Musings on Fatherhood

by RedwoodRRoad



Category: Guild Wars 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:22:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25738747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedwoodRRoad/pseuds/RedwoodRRoad
Summary: After the events of Jormag Rising, Rytlock is at a loss for words. He keeps to himself, but the Commander worries for his friend and offers some advice--some based on personal experience. (aka i wrote this after it came to me in a flash and look i know rytlock had this same setup after the events of season 4 ep 5 but it's different now because my commander is here ty for reading <3) ((also spoilers for Jormag Rising, clearly haha))
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Musings on Fatherhood

Rytlock sat at the fire, hunched slightly and unmoving. Having been concerned for him throughout this Jormag-related escapade, Eridunis approached and sank down carefully beside him. They didn’t speak for a moment, but soon Eridunis looked to Rytlock and started,

“… Are you doing okay?”

Firelight flickered across Rytlock’s face, reflecting in his eyes.

“No. I’ll be honest, Commander: I’m not.”

“I’m… here if you want to talk,” Eridunis offered, sliding back a little to give Rytlock more room.

Rytlock shook his head. “I just can’t believe it… I can’t believe… the _arc_ I witnessed—First Ryland was just getting too damn cozy with an Imperator; then he was _joining_ that Imperator on some… some _fascist_ brigade… Then I thought—Well, he must have been brainwashed _so well_ by Bangar that he could be convinced to willingly awaken an Elder Dragon to—to _serve_ Bangar… And then this. How the hell did it come to this…”

Eridunis paused for a long time. After thinking carefully, he replied, “I think… this was probably Ryland’s plan for a while now… Maybe not the whole time, but—Let’s be honest here, Bangar was never gonna be Jormag’s Champion—“ Rytlock nodded with raised eyebrows, not surprised by the observation. “—I mean I _definitely_ didn’t think for a moment that would end up being _Ryland_ , but… He’s smart. He… knew what he was going to do when he entered that ruin. This was all… leading up to it.”

Rytlock went still again, still staring at the fire. He flashed back to fighting Bangar, _beside_ Ryland for the first time, only to watch him step forward and accept the horrific mark of Jormag.

Sighing, Rytlock blinked and leaned back, out of his head finally. “Do you know why I—“ He started slowly but cut himself off to start over: “Did I… Did I ever tell you why I never… brought him up… with you or with anyone?”

Eridunis blinked too and thought about it, scoring his mind for an answer. He soon shook his head. “No.”

Rytlock looked past the fire. He paused but soon began to explain, gesturing, “You know it’s… not really in Charr… culture or whatever… to be all family and kid-raising and all that… You know, you got your Sire and you got the Dam, and when she has the kid, it… goes away, right? Gets raised to… join a warband and not get all caught up by... bloodline and shit. That’s the way it _should_ be--isn't always like that, on the kid's end...” Eridunis squirmed, not agreeing—but Humans were different. His life was different. “But when Cre had _Ryland_ ,” Rytlock continued, shaking his head slowly, “I… I couldn’t stay away. I just felt this… this _tug_ … towards him--Towards him and towards this… this _idea_ of being in his life.” He looked to Eridunis, seemingly a little uncertain suddenly. “Do you know what I mean?”

Eridunis nodded. “Yeah. I get that.”

Rytlock nodded back and looked away, pausing before he continued, “Something was different though. Now when… when I was a cub like that… I was… the smallest, weakest little runt in the group—no one liked me—couldn’t do anything right… Not to get all pity party on you…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Eridunis cut in with a small smile.

“But Ryland…" Rytlock lifted a finger, tapping nothing in the air. "He was liked enough… He got on just fine—got along with people too… He didn’t need any help.”

Eridunis frowned, suddenly thinking of something. “I was… under the impression that you _didn’t_ see him,” he started quizzically, “Which was why Bangar was able to swoop in and… you know, get close to him in the first place.”

Rytlock scoffed. “Remember all those times Logan came to visit Divinity’s Reach to see you and his brother?”

Eridunis instantly thought of all the times Logan visited him throughout his childhood—he had so many stories for him… Daring rescues, valiant teamwork, tales of fighting _dragons_... He always looked forward to it. Smiling a little awkwardly, Eridunis nodded. “I guess you weren’t just twiddling your thumbs, huh?”

Rytlock let out a huffy laugh. “Yeah, exactly. I went to check on Ryland and… well, Ryland is my oldest, so… I guess my big head put a priority on him for some reason…” He trailed off, but after a long pause he continued again, “I kept… thinking he would need help… You know, what I would have done to have my Sire see me get pushed around—but I’m not—I’m not jealous—“ His voice dropped into a defensive snarl, “I’m not—not rubbing my paws together like some sort of angry jackass—“

“No, no, no—“

“—waiting for him to fall over so I can sigh in relief over not being the weakest Charr in my bloodline—“

“Rytlock, I would have never thought that!” Eridunis cut in finally as Rytlock waved his hand in sharp dismissal. Eridunis turned to him fully and put his hand on Rytlock’s arm. “Rytlock, seriously—I get it. You weren’t jealous, you just—you wanted to be a father.” Rytlock stared at the ground as Eridunis continued, “You… lived this life of fear and frustration—no one understood you. I get that—I lived that! You thought that if... Ryland would be anything like you—his _Sire_ —that he would struggle through his experience in the--the fahrar. You expected he would struggle in the same ways you did—and when he didn’t… you didn’t know what to do. You weren’t jealous that he was doing better than you at that age, you… you felt helpless.” Rytlock flicked his eyes up towards the fire again, looking drained by the actualization. “He… He didn’t need help. You kept… imagining what it would be like to be a father in this culture that doesn’t have fathers, but when your own son acted in ways you didn’t expect and didn’t look up to you, you pulled back even more and got distant, and you’ll never know if you could have had a better life if only you’d been honest with yourself and with him when it mattered most—and oh gods, I’m talking about me and Logan.”

Rytlock looked to Eridunis with wide eyes. Eridunis sat back a little, looking away with wide eyes while he processed what he had said. He soon looked up to Rytlock again, and Rytlock raised his eyebrows before he asked, “You uh… got a lot still going on with that, huh?”

Eridunis paused but nodded as he tipped his head to the side a little in passive confirmation. He then shook and started again: “Anyway—What I really want to say is… You don’t need Ryland to look up to you.” Rytlock deflated and shook his head. “Really—I know it’s not all about that, but… It’s not your fault that this happened. It’s not… by some failure on you as his Sire that Ryland has chosen this path. Whether he chose it all himself or fell into it through bad influence, it’s not your fault.”

Rytlock looked gravely sullen. “… I won’t be able to kill him, Eridunis,” he said lowly, shaking his head as he stared at the fire again. Eridunis was struck not only by the use of his name, from someone who has primarily used his title for the past few years, but by the stark realism of the statement. Rytlock shook his head again. “No matter what he looks like. He could be… undead… Risen— _Branded_ … and I would still know it’s him.” Rytlock’s eyes grew wetter. “I’d still see my son and think there must be a way to save him.”

Eridunis hesitated, immediately seeing Arkus flash in his mind--the casual reminder that Arkus could have turned Mordrem too once, and the equal reminder that he wouldn't know how to handle it--but he gripped Rytlock’s arm again as he replied, “Don’t think about it—that’s not… on the table… not… now. Just—focus on where we are right now.” Rytlock closed his eyes and nodded, scowling at nothing when he opened them again. “Listen,” Eridunis continued, “Ryland’s… current situation aside… This is not your fault. You didn’t orchestrate this, _Bangar_ did—“

Rytlock nodded with another scoff. “Yeah, _him_ I’m okay with killing,” he bites.

Eridunis let out a dry laugh. “—Yeah, really—But look: You did _not_ do this to him. You didn’t… _screw him up_ , Rytlock…” Something he himself should remind Logan sometime.

Rytlock didn’t seem completely convinced, but he looked to Eridunis and gave his best impression of a smile. “I get it. I know you’re trying to help, and… I appreciate it. I... appreciate you being here.” He only looked mildly perturbed at himself for admitting it.

Eridunis nodded with his own smile. He sat back again and felt the urge to continue: “I know nothing can replace him in your heart…” Rytlock quite visibly stifled the urge to gag. “… But if it helps… _I’ve_ always looked up to you.”

Rytlock swung his gaze to Eridunis in absolute shock. “… Real shit?”

Eridunis cracked a bigger smile. “Yeah. I mean, when Logan first took me to meet _Destiny’s Edge_ in old Lion’s Arch, I _definitely_ walked away from that calling you an asshole under my breath to Logan—“

“Wow, thanks,” Rytlock grunted playfully.

Chuckling, Eridunis raised a hand, and he soon continued, “But—after I saw you save his life when we went up against the Flame Legion--this man who… had always been in my life and who I don’t know what I would do without his influence… When you saved his life, I _immediately_ started to see you as someone I wanted to be like.” Rytlock’s expression softened beyond what Eridunis thought could have been possible. Eridunis finished, “If you need to feel like you’ve made a good impact on someone in your life… let it be me. Let it be—Rox and Braham and Taimi and even Kas and Jory— _Arkus_ , even. Let it be _Logan_ , Rytlock.”

“Even Canach?” Rytlock cut in jokingly.

Eridunis snickered. “Yes—despite the fact that Canach would rather jump off a ravine than admit that he has _feelings_ , I’m sure he appreciates the friendship you have.”

Rytlock let out a laugh and looked away again. He leaned back, propping his hands on the grass. He paused for a long beat.

“… Thanks.”

Eridunis paused himself, hoping he’d finally said the right thing for Rytlock to heal from this. “… You’re welcome, Rytlock.” He soon leaned back and mirrored Rytlock’s position, and they both stared at the fire for a long while.

… Soon, though, Eridunis started again: “If you keep stressing out like this, you’re gonna get more grey fur.”

“Say that again, and I’ll gut you right here.”

“I’m just saying; you’re gonna look like a _snow leopard_ by the time we’re done with all this.”

“I’m pulling out Sohothin right now—“

“Don’t pull a hip while you’re at it.”

“—throw your body in the lake so when you come back to life again, you’ll be frozen solid anyway—“

Eridunis laughed, leaning his head back, and Rytlock couldn’t help but laugh with him, both of them finally relaxing after a long and terrible night. 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! I plan to write more gw2 stuff that pertains to my Commander's universe, but it's slow going. appreciate you giving this one a read though <3


End file.
